halllo! did you miss me?
well my dear children a lot has happened in the last week.... far more than I thought my brain could physically handle... but apparently it can... well I was broken up with.. which I guess it was due time I should have done it months ago.. but instead i forgave him every time he hurt me.. and let him break up with me instead. I was broken at first many will tell you how I cried and how I thought I wouldn't survive. and I would need to face his friend the next night and thought it would be better if i didn't go at tall but I did I went to a halloween party and everything became fine.... an distant friend that I'd never really taken the time to get to know let themselves shine through the dreariness of my mood.. and tell me what i most definitely needed to hear. my love of two years had hurt me and i deserved better ... and that what he did was horrible and no one should have to deal with that. Grady was straight forward with me didn't sugar coat it, didn't lie. after that I saw that as much as i loved gordon.. he was a dick to me.... as bad as that sounds... the party went on and i became happy! no longer caring about what what i might have done to him realizing that i should have done it and now that he was gone I was free. i flirted for the first time like mad. told jokes with out worrying the consequences. i was happy! I wasn't paranoid i was going to get cheated on.. I could be a bitch and not care!!! around 4:30 andrew got tired so I bid my goodbyes... then grady hugged me and asked me to come back... so gentally and so nicely i couldn't help but after i had brought andrew back to my house driving back to the party. sunday I went to see boondock saints 2 with melissa and grady. emily was suppossed to be there too but she couldn't make it. i wish she could have because i wanted to say sorry in person..
part of me still thinks even though gordons found someone else.. that I'm moving to fast... that maybe I should slow down .. but whats done is done and I think i can say that I'm happy and i'll get by with a little help from my friends... even you gordon .. your still my friend.